I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.
When nothing seems right….go left!!
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
A BOSS is like a diaper... Always on your ass, and usually full of Shi***t
Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left. :D
I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
Hey Mate…you There…Whatsapp is using me. :D
Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
If you are player then I’m the GAME.
Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.
You can disturb me….I’m available. :D
Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal this status.
Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl :)
Insult and wife are somewhat similar....They always look good...If it is not yours
I'm Jealous of My Parents... I'll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.
☺ Behind this smile is everything you’ll never understand.
We all feel a little f**d up sometimes.
If I’m wired with you. I like you.
I love buying new things but I hate spending money.
Stop waiting for one Day. Today is the Day- Bang-Bang
I hate math but I love counting money.
I believe in hate at first sight.
There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
If I get jealous then yes I really like you.
The Earth without Art is just Eh.
We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.
I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.
Laziness is me middle name.
I wonder if I've met the person I’m going to marry.
Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
I need Google in my brain.
You have eyes my dear but you cannot see.
I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
If you fall. I’ll be there.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
